he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
