i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
