Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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