The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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