Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
