i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
