he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
