is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
