We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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