You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
