thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
