last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
