I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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