When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
