I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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