Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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