His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
