Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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