I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
