I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Your cock deserves a montage
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
