You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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