Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I touched a dick in church today
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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