in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
