A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
