New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
