she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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