I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
