Are we in a gay sports bar?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
