Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
