im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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