Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
