At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
