Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
and you fell through a lawn chair
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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