quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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