I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
