Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
