It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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