Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
