Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
