I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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