Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you are never too drunk for berry picking
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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