well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
