i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
