no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize