He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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