How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
