So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
