so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
