i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
