We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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