remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
