Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
