he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
