WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Randomize
