So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
