This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I intend to get homeless drunk
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
