just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
