it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
