i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dear god my vagina.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
